So yeah, I've been completely failing at blogging every day in September, but in my defense, there was about a week where all I did was work, sleep, and repack my lunch. It sucked, but it needed to happen because I *really* need the money.

After reading Tiff's latest blog, I almost feel like I'm pressuring her into coming. I'm sorry, but I was under the impression that she *wanted* to come and now it feels like shes only coming for me and she'd rather not. And really, that kind of hurts because I thought we were really good friends and that she was coming out because she wanted to see me too. Because we don't get to see each other all that often. Maybe I'm wrong, maybe she's just trying to please me....and I dunno. I feel like telling her nevermind on the whole thing cuz I don't want to stress her out. I'm trying to make it as easy as possible on her, but every thing i say to her to try to help, it feels like she get defensive over. I don't know what to do anymore.

Maybe I'm just reading too much into it and she does want to come, it's just something she needs to work through. And she assured me that her boss said she can have the time off and I mean...I'm taking a week off too. And I have bills too. And I've been out of work for almost 3 months and the paycheck I'm getting on the 28th is the first real paycheck I've gotten since I worked Mamma Mia back in what? July? Something like that. I'm worried about making bills too....but sometimes you have to sacrifice to have a good time.

If she needs me to pay for stuff while she's here, I'm okay with that and I thought she knew that. I'm almost crying because I don't want this to ruin her life, and yeah I'd be upset because I'm REALLY looking forward to seeing her. I consider her, Kateland, Katie, Rawan, Esther, and Jen my best friends in the *world* at the moment....maybe it's completely one-sided.

I'm so not in the mood to go to work and have to deal with hockey fans with all this on my mind. Luckily, I don't have to be there till 5:15 and hockey games usually aren't very long...so that's a plus. Won't be like that one day when I worked from 730am-1245am. That day suuuuuuuucked.

Everything hurts...